Mid-November. Mid-Afternoon. Guantanamo Bay.
John Boehner straddled the inflatable raft, pina colada in hand. His orange belly bobbed in the sun as the gentle surf rolled onto the white sand. He sucked the last of the drink into his gullet and tossed the plastic cup towards the beach where it tumbled in the water with a couple dozen compadres. He leaned back and closed his eyes, soaking up the sun like a giant sponge.
Rand Paul, got up from his beach towel and strolled towards the water’s edge. He stuck in one toe and then another. Before he knew it he had waded out to his waist in the water. Effortlessly, he dived under the water and disappeared.
A moment later, Boehner’s raft was flipped over and the Speaker was gasping for air.
“God Dammit Paul! Can’t a guy drink in peace? F#$%@ you!”
Paul splashed in the water laughing. On the beach, the Tea Party Caucus convulsed in chortles and guffaws. Michelle Bachmann wheezed like a Canadian goose in flight.
Mitch McConnell stood up and shouted at the two figures at the water’s edge: “Hey Aqua Buddha, you need another drink!”
Mid-November. Near Sunset. Guantanamo Bay.
Rand Paul and John Boehner are sitting at the beachfront bar, tossing back Margaritas and watching the day’s wrap up on C-SPAN.
“They are re-enacting the entire F#$%@ing New Deal. Civilian Conservation Corps. Check. Works Progress Administration. Check. What are they doing to our country, Rand? What are they doing to the debt?
“They’ll pay for it. You can’t escape the dustbin of history.”
Boehner looked at the bartender and asked for another round. “Joey, can you change the friggin channel? This is too depressing.”
“Sorry boss, this is the only channel we can get down here.” He smiled and handed them their drinks. Michelle Bachmann and Mitch McConnell were salsa dancing to a reggae tune pounding out of the juke box at ear splitting volume, while Eric Cantor, John Roberts and Steve King watched from a table in the corner.
Boehner moaned, “Another lousy sunset in paradise,” as he looked out at the disappearing sun.
Does Ted get convicted of Treason? Will he be sentenced to Death?
Will Clarence Thomas save him?
What happens at the Super Bowl? What role does Miley Cyrus play in this?
Does she fall for the dashing Senator from Texas?
Is President Obama really a Kenyan Citizen?
Is Osama Bin Laden really a guest at the White House?
Will Sven and Karl reveal what happens to the Planet?
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